The smart way to catch Burglars

It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things.

He ran back inside right away and called the cops, who asked him "Are there any intruders in your house?" to which Charlie replied no and explained his circumstances. The cops told Charlie that all patrol cars were otherwise occupied, and that he should just lock his door and a uniformed cop would be at his house when one was free.
Charlie answered, "Alright," hung up, waited 30 seconds, and then called the cops again.
"Hello, I just called a short while ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. I want to let you know that they're not a problem anymore because I've just shot every one of them."
Charlie then hung up the phone. In five short minutes, three patrol cars, a SWAT team, and an ambulance arrived, and Of course, the cops caught the burglars in the act.
One of the cops snapped at Charlie: "I thought you said that you shot every one of them!"
"I thought you said there were no patrol cars free!" Charlie answered.

Curiosity gets the Priest

 

A priest, in urgent need to use the bathroom, walks into a local bar. The bar is jumping with loud music and lively conversation, but every few minutes the lights abruptly go off. Every time the lights go off, the bar crowd bursts into loud whoops and applause, but when they see the priest enter the bar, the place becomes absolutely quiet.

The priest walks over to the bartender and asks, "Can you please tell me where your bathroom is?"
"Sure, but I have to tell you, father, there's a statue of a naked woman in it and she?s wearing only a fig leaf."
"No problem, I'll just avert my eyes, then," Said the priest.
The bartender then shows the priest to the far side of the bar where the bathroom is located. After a short while, the priest comes out of the bathroom and the bar crowd pauses only long enough to give him a rousing cheer. Perplexed he goes over to the bartender and asks, I'm puzzled. Why did they cheer for me as I came out of the bathroom just now?"
"Well, father, it's because your curiosity has made you human and likeable, just like us," said the bartender. "May I pour you a drink?"
"No thanks you, but, I'm still puzzled," said the priest.
"You see, father," chuckles the bartender, "every time somebody moves the fig leaf on the naked woman statue, the bar lights go off. Now, what do you say to that drink?"

A LAUGH A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY

"Laughter is the best medicine" as the old saying goes and one can have a whole bunch of laugh whenever we hear an odd or funny story or situation or anything we consider as good humor. The Wikipedia defines humor as the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. It adds that the term itself derives from the “humoral  medicine” of the ancient Greeks, which taught that the balance of fluids in the human body, known as humors.

Many people would ever want to be funny so that they could get along with the group and not to be branded as flimsy or lousy. However, is having a sense of humor innate to a person or we can learn how to acquire it? Least, Are there really people who are so boring and would take everything seriously and would piss off whenever they hear something unusual?  Raymond Smullyan,  author of "The Planet Without Laughter", consider humor to be a "gift from God"; and theories which consider humor to be an unexplainable mystery, very much like a mystical experience.

Well enough for the explanation but how useful humor is and how can it spice up our life? Humor can be a good “weapon” In parties when everyone feels awkward or feeling of being out of place because he or she doesn’t know a lot of people at the parties. Starting with casual talk, establishing rapport and bunting humor would spice up once presence at the parties but not necessarily becoming a ham on the parties. Keeping a low profile or just hanging around to wanting to have many acquaintances, having a sense of humor can be a great advantage.

For a man wanting to have his own woman, Humor can be a good approach. Most women don’t necessarily prefer tall dark and handsome people to have their partner neither a super rich person to be their perfect partner in life. They’d rather have the character of a person and someone that could make them “happy”.  We’ll I guess making them life from time to time would create a good impression on your part. Lastly, humor can ease ones job. In this time of stressful world and cut throat competition, it can appease the situation and ease the burden of stress on everyone.

Are there times that it can be inappropriate? Yes, if it the situation doesn’t call for it. Some of the instances are Burials, sad moments, a time when one is supposed to console and not to make fun of someone. It is also rude to make fun of other culture or most terribly one should clearly know the difference between a fun and an offensive joke. And how can we clearly define it? We’ll as much as possible avoid dirty jokes or jokes that assail one’s sexuality especially in public.

The most important consideration in telling someone any humor is saying it in the right place and at the right time without losing one respect to others or degrading one’s dignity. We only have a short time to live so why not spend it in a light and joyous way?